Skate3 A Non Review
If you'd read my companion review of Skate2, you'd know I wasn't too keen on the impending Skate3. I was duly concerned that EA were grinding down the same uninspired rail that lead to the Tony Hawk series to an ignominious demise. I shouldn't have fretted, Skate3 has not only managed to rectify the errors of its' predecessor, but even eclipse the original game in the process.
Free At Last
One of my biggest gripes about Skate1/2's free-skate mode is that you're still encumbered by mindless bot skaters that exist only to fuck your line up by clogging up the game mesh. Thankfully Skate3 provides the option to disable the bots, letting you truly skate freely in a post-neutron-bomb world, devoid of all humanity - hosanna! As a sod-the-game virtual skater, I simply want a great world to skateboard 'round in and don't care too much about the goals, rewards and such time-wasting rubbish. So free-skate it where I live most of my in-game existence.
The second great improvement is the re-orientation of the Hall Of Meat. Once a constant interruption and irritation, is now an option gameplay mode which I've happily ignored. But now when your skater eats it, you just get up and skate - no more Thrasher Magazine commercials to kill your flow and count your broken bones.
Weatherfish's iPod Hall Of Shame
I have over 10,000 songs and stories on my iPod (well, OK, my iPad and my iPhone these days), and am sometimes astounded what crap has managed to land inside of that silly box of noise. So here’s the list of the 1/1000th of them I’m most ashamed to admit are in that pod-thing;
10. “Lady Of The Lake” by Starcastle
Few people have heard of Starcastle, but it’s best to think of them as Yes-Lite. This corn-fed prog band arose from the same mid-western pond scum that belched forth Styx. Both Yank bands were masters of teeny-bopper prog that was dumb enough for Americans to comprehend. Styx made it big, Starcastle didn’t. "Lady Of The Lake" is a trippy bit of candyfloss is from back in the days when they were cloning Yes, replete with Jon Anderson-eque vocals, Ricky bass lines and Moog frosting. I suppose it’s only redeeming value is that it’s a shade better than Yes currently is, now ripping themselves off to keep Chris Squire's big belly filled.
9. “Bounty Hunter” by Molly Hatchet
A coattail act of Lynyrd Skynrd from the same swampy shores of North Florida. Molly Hatchet was southern-fired rock pretending to be heavy metal, featuring Frank Frezetta album covers and generous guts behind their Les Pauls. This hook-laden bubba fantasy about blowing peoples heads off with 6-guns probably blared from the majority of rusting Chevy trucks in 1978. It astounds me that I even admit to have a song on my iPod that opens with the boast “Hell Yeah!”
Afterhawk - A Skate2 Review
A Bit Of Weepy Reflection
I started skateboarding back in 1975 and was an avid skater until the 80s dawned. My addiction to skateboard games began with a demo of TONY HAWK PRO SKATER 2 on my old Bondi-Blue iMac. PRO SKATER hooked me for several reasons, but the main one was that I just enjoyed the feeling of skateboarding again without the pain it once caused (I earned two broken bones during by my childhood skating adventures). I faithfully stuck by Mr. Hawk’s PRO SKATER, buying the whole series twice (once for the PS2, and all over again for the XBox).
Things got increasingly worse as the THPS series progressed. By the time Neversoft renewed the series for the next-gen consoles, they had flushed most of the things I loved about the original game, chiefly the park creator. Even with the improved graphics, the in-game level design was lousy and derivative. By the time the series crashed and burned with the dreadful TONY HAWK’S PROVING GROUND, I was close to tossing my Xbox360 in the rubbish tin.